Thursday, June 25, 2009

Where Were You When You Found Out?

I was cutting open an earthworm, trying not to puncture the intestine and get worm poop all over me.

This is how I choose to remember him, although I'm not sure I was even born at this point. The first cd I ever owned was Michael Jackson's Dangerous and I'd still have it today if I hadn't sold all my cds for extra cash last year.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Why Am I Always So Thirsty?

During the winter I spend a lot of my time complaining about how cold I am (just ask Michael, he can't take me anywhere) and I like to long for summer because my brain knows that in the summer, it is not cold. Unfortunately while my brain does realize that summer is hot, it doesn't fully remember the details of what that means and so falls back on the most vivid memories of "hot" summers in California and chooses not to remember that it is 20 degrees hotter in Texas.

Dear Summer in Texas, I'd tell you to go to hell but we are apparently too late for that.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Birthday Cupcakes

Last week was Michael's birthday and armed with any excuse to bake I made cupcakes. Upon asking Michael what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and receiving the ever helpful answer of, "the awesome kind" I decided to go with my personal favorite: chocolate with chocolate frosting.

(that isn't all of them, that is just the only ones that would fit in that particular container)

Upon looking at them you might say to yourself, "hmm some of those cupcakes have pieces of fruit on them, perhaps a raspberry or a pineapple?" and well you'd be correct! In an effort to make them at least partially awesome, I decided to add fruit but not just to the top... nooooo...

What you are looking at is fruit filling inside a cupcake. I KNOW it IS amazing. Per Michael they were also quite delicious. I don't really like fruit invading my chocolate so I was pretty indifferent about my bite, also that is why I made some without the filling (that and I wasn't sure the filling thing was going to work out). There are no pictures of the pineapple filled ones because those pictures were not attractive, the yellow did not look appetizing on camera despite their taste.

And yes, for those with astute eyes, those ARE Transformers cupcake wrappers.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

UT Orientation

I'm officially a Longhorn now, I got a sticker to prove it.

Yesterday was my orientation and mostly it wasn't worth the $42 they charged me (umm and you aren't even going to feed me? Not even a morning juice box?) but it was nice to get - read: be forced - to wander around the campus and get a better feeling for the place.

Mostly I paid $42 to feel really really old. See below overheard conversations.

Speaker: Fine Arts! You are at the back door!
Girl 1: That's us.
Girl 2: No, that is Fine Art.
Girl 1: But we're art.
Girl 2: We're Liberal Arts.
Girl 1: It isn't the same thing?
Me: *Mental forehead smack*

The following must be read in the best Valley Girl impersonation you can do in order for you to fully appreciate it.

Girl 1: ohmygod, I want to be a speech therapist, like and work with kids, like a pediatric speech therapist. I think it is really cute when a little kid has a stutter.
Girl 2: wow, that is really cool.
Girl 1: ohmygod I know. It is going to be like totally rewarding.

Also, I rode the bus to school. I've never ridden the bus in Austin before so I don't know totally how it works but I can tell you one thing that I am absolutely positive about: Clipping your nails on the bus is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. Let me be clear - clipping your nails on an empty bus is unacceptable and clipping your nails on a totally packed bus? TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

Who is this group of people who feel like clipping their nails in public is ok? Seriously, who is their mother? And why are they always right behind me? I should not have to spend my ride to school wondering if your fingernail is going to hit me in the back of the head.

Other places where clipping your nails is unacceptable:
1. In line for a ride at Disneyworld.
2. In the waiting room at the doctor's office.
3. In your cubicle at work.
4. In any other place that isn't your private bathroom with the door closed.

Friday, June 12, 2009

No, that it Karma

So I regularly read the FMyLife blog. It used to be funny, now it seems to be filled with people who don't understand what Karma is.

Too many of the posts seems to follow this pattern:

Today, I was walking/driving along and thought I'd do something totally rude/mean/completely uncalled for because I thought it might amuse me then it somehow backfired on me. FML

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Nope, not FYL, you totally deserved to be chased with a knife.

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I would have clapped too. So would most of the people I know. That is why I'm friends with them and not you.

Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my Ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes all back in. FML
Wondering what the definition of Karma is? Right there baby.

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
How that one should go: Today, I was thinking about a date that I had planned and getting really excited about it because I was really into her. I went outside and she had keyed my car because I didn't show up. The date is scheduled for tomorrow. FML

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

This Gets me EVERY TIME

All the pedigree commercials starring this dog, Oliver, cause me to tear up. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Oliver and Simon look similar and seeing him in a shelter cage makes me want to cry. The fact that there are like five commercials starring this dog and they are played ALL THE TIME on hulu, which is the only place I see commercials.

I'll admit it. These are incredibly persuasive for me. I think about buying pedigree every time because it will save Oliver. Then I remember what a terrible dog food it is and instead the next time I go to PetCo I buy an extra bag of dog food to give to the rescue workers outside.

Friday, June 5, 2009

So, I picked this particular week to visit Santa Barbara because Allison was getting married.

Isn't she pretty

Kristin was in the wedding too and also looked pretty.

Since the wedding was at the Zoo (my favorite place) we got to wander around. Unfortunately the Lions were going inside right at the exact moment we arrived (SOMEONE just HAD to read the sign about the plants that absolutely wasn't going anywhere) but I did get what I thought was a terrible picture of the Gorilla until Michael looked at it and said, "Gorillas in the mist" and now I love it.

The "mist" is really my flash reflecting off the glass.

I also made Michael ride the train. I'm not exactly sure what the reason is for this level of annoyance but there are three options that I can think of:
1. That I'm making him ride a tiny zoo train.
2. The three REALLY annoying girls sitting a couple rows in front of us (one actually almost started crying because only two people can fit on the bench and she had to sit a row behind them, these were teenagers.)
3. That I'm taking a picture of him from 5 inches away while making him ride a tiny zoo train.

But I was right about it being fun, because after the train ride, he was ALLLLLLLL better.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Close Call

I almost had a heart attack while driving to work this morning. So I'm listening to the radio and they start talking about some local news items that are popping up and one story goes like this.

Girl: Does anyone here actually take out books from the library?
(Me to myself: I do all the time)
Guys: No, no, no, sometimes my wife takes my daughter.
Girl: Ok so there is a story about a local woman in her twenties that now has a warrant out for her arrest because she didn't return a library book and the fees got so much that the city wants to arrest her.
(Me to myself: hmm, I have like $2.00 in fees that I haven't paid, I should get on that apparently)
Guys: wow, she can't just buy a new copy of the book or something?
Girl: Apparently the judge said it has gone on too far and issued the warrant. Yeah, her name is Victoria Ro ummm hang on, Victoria Roberts.

Seriously in that "hang on" moment I was FREAKING OUT.

Here is the story if anyone is interested. TUrns out she is actually in Killeen which is a little north of here.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

After Michael FINALLY got to Santa Barbara we decided to take in I Madonari to kill some time. I said that it was within walking distance but definitely far enough away that you wouldn't feel silly driving there. Apparently I wasn't clear because by the time we were starting to leave Michael clarified that our "walk" was in fact a "death march."

Despite the fact that I'm pretty sure this year's theme was "Let your kid draw the square" there were a few that I liked.

This was the one Michael said was his favorite and I guess I believe him but well, you decide.

And amidst the fine art reproductions and tributes to firefighters there was this...

Not that I don't love Mickey, but lets just say that this one stood out and not necessarily in a good way.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Puppy Love

As much as I hate flying with Simon, he sure loves being in Santa Barbara, especially with Zoe being there now and it means he gets to play with my brother's dog, Saturn.

Simon and Saturn never stop moving, they always have to see what the other one is up to and usually try to steal whatever it is the other is playing with. This is actually the best picture I have of the two of them (most of the pictures had no dogs in them at all because they kept running off to play or investigate some noise). I kind of love it actually.

When Saturn wasn't around Simon enjoyed some outdoor relaxing. We don't really have any outdoor space that he can hang out in and he LOVES being outside so having a yard was really fun for him (also awesome for me because it meant I didn't have to walk him at 7am).

We went to see Zoe as well, who chased the frisbee while Simon watched. I think he is still exhausted from playing with Saturn, he hasn't had this much play time in a while.

Between Zoe, Saturn, and Piper (Scott's dog) we're pretty sure that Simon is going to think he is only allowed to play with little, black dogs.

I also noticed one more thing while at home. Simon totally goes with my parent's furniture.

Monday, June 1, 2009

New Plates

Last week I went home to California for a wonderful visit* that even included a certain boyfriend joining me for a few days.

Before leaving Michael did some man's work for me and put on my new license plates, yes I now have stupid Texas plates.

Of course when I went out to my car this afternoon for the first time since being back I realized that I had left it unlocked when I got the new plates out of the car before I left. Yeah, my car was sitting unlocked for over a week. I'm awesome.

*Of course it could have been slightly improved by Gen not being in stupid Mexico.