Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Finals Week

I woke up at 2am with my pocket periodic table of the elements stuck to my face.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

No One Wants to Talk to Me

So my cousin emails me to say that she got engaged over the weekend. She and I haven't talked in a while so I decide to call her to say congratulations and just to chat because she is awesome to talk to. And so begins the evening of the telephone hating me.

#1: Dials Cousin's Cell Phone
Man: "Harry's Pool Supply"
Me: "Sorry, must have dialed the wrong number."

Ok she changed her cell phone number, like I said, it has been a while.

#2: Dials Cousin's Home Phone
Man: "Hello"
Me: "Is Kim there?"
Man: "Sorry, wrong number."

Ok she moved, it happens.

#3: Dials Grandparent's House
Grandfather's Voice: "You have reached ....."

Ok they are out, they don't usually go out for any reason, but right now they are out.

#4: Dials Mom's Cell Phone
Mom's Voice: "You've reached Janet, I can't come to the phone right now..."

Ok not unusual for mom not to answer phone, she usually leaves it on silent and if in another room you can't hear that, I get it.

#5: Dials Parent's Home Number
do do do
Woman's Voice: "We're sorry but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service..."

Ok, WTF?!?!?!?!?!

I give up.

I should be studying

but I'm not. Instead I'll be relating to you the funniest photo caption I have read in a VERY long time.

For the record, I know it is wrong to laugh at this subject matter but when you are just glancing around a page and you come across this, I dare you not to laugh.

"Farrah Fawcett, who has been in Europe pursuing alternative therapy for her anal cancer, gets back in the swing of things."

Thursday, April 24, 2008

New Musical Obsession

There isn't a real music video for this song but there is a Final Fantasy video for it so you can't complain too much. The song is the important part.

Jem (not that one, sadly) - 24

Monday, April 21, 2008

What Would You Do?

I hereby present two scenarios and two possible solutions to them. Which would you choose? Warning, there is a right and wrong answer to this.

You need a photocopy of a check currently in your hand. You are standing in the conference room.

Option A:
You walk past the copier to your office, find a stickie note, write on the note “Please Make a Copy,” walk out of your office, past the copier, put the check with stickie note into the In-Box of the Office Manager, walk past the copier and back into your office.

Option B:
You walk over to the copier and make the freaking copy yourself.

You need a bid archived (this means, it needs to be removed from one folder marked “Active” and placed in the folder behind it marked “Archive”), AND you need another bid pulled so you can look at it. The bids are in the practically empty top drawer of the filing cabinet directly outside your office. No bending over or even actual searching required to locate what you need.

Option A:
You pull out your note pad, write a note, “(1) Please remove Ken Jackson bid from working file and archive it. (2) Please pull the Chiro Lifestyles bid for me to look over,” you walk out of your office, past the filing cabinet, over to the desk of the Office Manager, place the note in the In-Box, walk back past the filing cabinet and into your office. 10 minutes later, walk out of your office, past the filing cabinet, over to the Office Manager, ask if she has pulled the file you need yet, receive a “umm, I can pull that in about 5 minutes” answer, walk past the filing cabinet and return to your office.

Option B:
Walk out of your office, open the filing cabinet, pull out what you need, walk back into your office.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Veronica Mars Wrap-Up

So. It is done. Over. Finito. No more Veronica Mars. Kailey and I finished watching the show last week and I gotta tell you that I am a little miffed with you. By "you", I mean all of our friends who watched the show and decided NOT to tell us there is no conclusion!!! That the show just ends, stops, ceases to conclude! More thoughts at the end of this post...

In other sad and slightly related news, Rob Thomas has backed out of the new 90210 project. Apparently he is too busy, which would be fine if we actually got to see any of the fruits of this busy-ness!!! I'll probably still give it a chance because you never know, but yesterday someone (okay a cute boy) told me that I have excellent taste in television and now I have to live up to that, so if it sucks it is CUT.

Yes, there is Moonlight so you haven't heard the end from me about Logan but just in case...

(STOP READING NOW IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN VERONICA MARS - Kristin this means you, go watch it and then come back and finish reading this)

Okay, back to VM. grr, argh! What the hell??? Sorry just had to get that out of my system. Now, here is my conclusion to the show...

- Veronica and Piz - so over (sorry Piz, but you'll follow your true calling of becoming a midwife and go to work in a Private Practice clinic). Logan dumps that tramp Parker. And, of course, Logan and Veronica back together again in an awesome kiss that sums up their feelings for each other (see the season 2 finale hallway kiss, and season 1's first LV kiss).
- Vinnie is elected sheriff, Keith proves that Vinnie was in league with the Fitzpatricks, Vinnie is ousted. Keith is offered the job again but turns it down, instead recommending Dept. Sacks to the position. Sheriff Sacks and PI Mars frequently team up to solve crime and Balboa County is rated the "Safest County in the United States."
- Leo finds a nice girl [Roommate note: named Kailey] who doesn't use him for the keys to the evidence locker.
- Wallace gets signed to play basketball for a New York team where he and Jackie get back together. After a year he decides he doesn't really want to play, takes the money he has earned so far, donates it to "Invisible Children", and returns to Southern California with Jackie and kid in tow to live/work as a Mechanical Engineer.
- Weevil saves up and opens his own Auto Body Shop, specializing in high-end custom work. Eventually becomes the star of his own incredibly successful television show a la Pimp My Ride.
- Dick Sr. serves his jail time and while there he and Dick Jr. become close. Once out they form the Casablancas Foundation and donate millions to helping at-risk teens.
- Mac makes millions on the internet, buys Kane Software, and eventually surpasses Microsoft as the world's leading software provider. Employees are often quoted as saying that "Mac is the greatest boss in the world."
- Jake and Celeste Kane take the money from the sale and reunite with Duncan and the baby. Turns out they are pretty awesome grandparents.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Monday, April 14, 2008

What Good Moods are Made Of

Some days you are just in a good mood. On those days it doesn't matter that you were starving all day, that your boss gets cold if the temps dips below 85 in the office, that your co-workers were discussing which bathroom they like to use in the case of "poo-gas" (it just looked better hyphenated), that you only got a 92 on your math test (yes that bothers me, shut up), that your other boss says "pacific" and "tack" instead of "specific" and "tact", or that you had to re-explain some quickbooks features...again.

Those days begin with pretty flowers to look at...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Dear Car,

As I sat in the parking lot yesterday trying (unsuccessfully) to get you out of Park and getting more and more annoyed with you I finally realized something, you are mad at me. Upon that sudden realization you easily slipped out of Park and into Reverse. Because of this I would like to offer you an apology.

You grew up in Santa Barbara, the land of moderate temperatures and where everything is close to everything else. I moved you to Texas where you went through a Texas summer of 90+ degree (and quite a few 100+ degree) days and I made you drive a lot. I would also like to apologize again for last winter...

I haven't been a great owner recently, I mean I asked for a new car for my birthday and I bitched about your headlight and we haven't spent a lot of quality time together recently I know. Next paycheck (not tomorrow's because that is going towards your loan and new pair of jeans but in two weeks) we are going to get you detailed, make you all pretty, and I'm calling to set up an appointment to get your oil changed and figure out why your check engine light keeps coming on. I promise.


Sunday, April 6, 2008

Let's do a Quick Life Update

1. None of my clothes fit me anymore so apparently my whole "do nothing and you're bound to lose weight" philosophy is working perfectly. The annoying part is that I don't have enough money to buy new clothes, in fact I'm excitedly waiting for my first paycheck so that I can buy a (much needed!) new pair of jeans.

2. I went mini-golfing yesterday and got my first sunburn of the season, my summer has begun and it is only April!

3. Some days I hate my car, those days are when something VERY routine stops working and it turns out to be not so routine to get fixed. Like six months ago when my battery died and it took 3 hours to get it changed because VW likes to make the battery FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE to get out. Or, like yesterday when I had to go to two different places and waste 2.5 hours to get the lightbulb in my headlight changed (apparently you need to remove the front of the headlight and you can't go in through the back like in a normal car).

4. I'm dating and really enjoying it :)

5. I am obsessed with this song right now. The video is crazy and awesome! Thanks Dave for introducing it into my life.