Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Comma Haiku

i hate you comma
you exist to destroy me
i hate you comma

Have I mentioned that I have no idea how to use the comma? I mean I know the basics like it is Austin (comma) TX or I bought milk (comma) eggs (comma) cheese (comma???) and cereal at the store, okay maybe I don't really have that one down.

In the ninth grade I took the comma test three times and the best I could do was a C. Wait, it gets worse, it was the EXACT SAME test each time I took it. In between taking the tests I was presented with a corrected test, so basically I couldn't even memorize where to put the comma correctly. My teacher finally took pity on me and told me that he would give me the points, he was a nice pot-smoking teacher.

I put the comma where I think it should go and usually I'm wrong. This is not for lack of trying I assure you. I have read text books and helpful hints books, websites and papers. Kailey, my mother, two teachers, and my boss have all gone over how and where to use the comma. It didn't stick. And don't tell me it goes where the pause is because that is bull****, apparently I pause differently than you do.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, the commas in the blog are going to be wrong. I guarantee it. And don't even get me started; on semi-colons and dashes, we could be here - all night.


Renee said...

i just got marked down on my paper for incorrect use of the , and the ; i say we throw 'em out all together.

Victoria said...

that is why I make Kailey read everything before I turn it in for a grade. I've never been marked down for a Kailey-placed comma.