You'll have to excuse the state of the room. That is Kailey's room, blame her.
It is really only the first 45 seconds I just don't know how to edit the video down.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Way better than "Jerk Store"
Who here hasn't had a George Costanza moment where you come up with the super great come-back but like way too late? Ok, we all know "jerk store" is a terrible comeback but we know the feeling right?
I had the opposite moment. I actually said what I thought and it was HILARIOUS, I'm not sure the dude on the phone thought so but it was all I could do to not laugh, especially since saying it completely seriously was part of it's appeal.
(In case you can't tell his tone was getting increasingly rude and loud as the call went on)
Me: Austin Multi-Line Services
Dude: Hi Becky, this is Joe and I need to talk to you about your merchant services account.
Me: Oh sorry, Becky retired a few years ago. Would you like to speak with the new owner?
Dude: No. I need to talk to Becky.
Me: Well I'm sorry but she doesn't work here anymore, if it is about the company's merchant account then you should probably talk to the new owner.
Dude: No. Just give me Becky's number.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Dude: Why not? I need to talk to her.
Me: Because we don't give out personal information about current or former employees.
Dude: Just give it to me.
Me: No. Sorry.
Dude: I need to talk to her.
Me: About her merchant account?
Dude: Yes! Give me her number.
Me: I still can't give it to you.
Dude (kinda yelling at this point): Well how do YOU suggest I get a hold of her if you won't give me the number?
Me: You could try an owl. They always seems to find who they are looking for.
Dude: .........
Dude: I'm going to give you my number and you tell her to call me. Write this down! 1-888-555-5555 (I don't remember the actual numbers). Got it???
Me: Sure.
Dude: You didn't write that down did you?
Me: Nope
Dude: *click*
I think the important part is that he didn't ask what the hell I was talking about so he must have understood the reference. I laughed pretty hard once I hung up the phone.
I had the opposite moment. I actually said what I thought and it was HILARIOUS, I'm not sure the dude on the phone thought so but it was all I could do to not laugh, especially since saying it completely seriously was part of it's appeal.
(In case you can't tell his tone was getting increasingly rude and loud as the call went on)
Me: Austin Multi-Line Services
Dude: Hi Becky, this is Joe and I need to talk to you about your merchant services account.
Me: Oh sorry, Becky retired a few years ago. Would you like to speak with the new owner?
Dude: No. I need to talk to Becky.
Me: Well I'm sorry but she doesn't work here anymore, if it is about the company's merchant account then you should probably talk to the new owner.
Dude: No. Just give me Becky's number.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Dude: Why not? I need to talk to her.
Me: Because we don't give out personal information about current or former employees.
Dude: Just give it to me.
Me: No. Sorry.
Dude: I need to talk to her.
Me: About her merchant account?
Dude: Yes! Give me her number.
Me: I still can't give it to you.
Dude (kinda yelling at this point): Well how do YOU suggest I get a hold of her if you won't give me the number?
Me: You could try an owl. They always seems to find who they are looking for.
Dude: .........
Dude: I'm going to give you my number and you tell her to call me. Write this down! 1-888-555-5555 (I don't remember the actual numbers). Got it???
Me: Sure.
Dude: You didn't write that down did you?
Me: Nope
Dude: *click*
I think the important part is that he didn't ask what the hell I was talking about so he must have understood the reference. I laughed pretty hard once I hung up the phone.
Friday, May 27, 2011
My First Laser Tag Experience
And I did not come in last. I was like 11th out of 14 people WHICH IS NOT LAST!
It reminded me of bumper cars in a way. I hate bumper cars. Let me clarify, I hate doing bumper cars with a bunch of people I don't know and I have never been in a situation where I was friends with all the other people in the other bumper cars. What is the point to bumping into a bunch of people you don't know? Seriously. Alliances can't be formed, smack talk doesn't happen, you can't yell at the person who just pinned you down in a corner (unless you're some kind of asshole). All you have is randomly bumping into someone and then awkward eye contact with a complete stranger. It's stupid. I guess some people enjoy that sort of thing but I am not one of them.
Luckily it was all going to be people I knew (well most of whom I met earlier that evening) but basically one big group of friends. That I can handle and thus, laser tag was fun. Sort of. Lets just say I enjoyed it but I'm not going to be organizing any parties any time soon.
Three random dudes showed up at right before we went in and joined our game. Apparently I never even encountered one of them in the "arena" since we never shot each other, either that or we are both terrible shots. One of them was a former Marine, Jason (the birthday boy) took it upon himself to "own" him. He was downright successful. Then he ran into Jason's dad (literally) and fell down. All in all, not exactly a commercial for the Marine Corps.
For the record I let the birthday boy beat me in laser tag because I had just schooled him in bowling earlier that evening (125-117). What second game? No there wasn't a second bowling game that I lost, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Josh was there too, I schooled him in bowling too.
It reminded me of bumper cars in a way. I hate bumper cars. Let me clarify, I hate doing bumper cars with a bunch of people I don't know and I have never been in a situation where I was friends with all the other people in the other bumper cars. What is the point to bumping into a bunch of people you don't know? Seriously. Alliances can't be formed, smack talk doesn't happen, you can't yell at the person who just pinned you down in a corner (unless you're some kind of asshole). All you have is randomly bumping into someone and then awkward eye contact with a complete stranger. It's stupid. I guess some people enjoy that sort of thing but I am not one of them.
Luckily it was all going to be people I knew (well most of whom I met earlier that evening) but basically one big group of friends. That I can handle and thus, laser tag was fun. Sort of. Lets just say I enjoyed it but I'm not going to be organizing any parties any time soon.
Three random dudes showed up at right before we went in and joined our game. Apparently I never even encountered one of them in the "arena" since we never shot each other, either that or we are both terrible shots. One of them was a former Marine, Jason (the birthday boy) took it upon himself to "own" him. He was downright successful. Then he ran into Jason's dad (literally) and fell down. All in all, not exactly a commercial for the Marine Corps.
For the record I let the birthday boy beat me in laser tag because I had just schooled him in bowling earlier that evening (125-117). What second game? No there wasn't a second bowling game that I lost, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Josh was there too, I schooled him in bowling too.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
What is the World Coming To?
The Pioneer Woman frequently gives away awesome things on her blog. I never win but I'm trying. Usually these giveaways consist of her asking a simple question like "what are you doing this weekend?" or "What's for dinner?" and then you answer in the comments and she chooses randomly from the comments. This week's question was "What is your favorite vegetable?" These were the top answers:
corn (8040)
asparagus (7411)
tomatoes (4861)
broccoli (4832)
potatoes (3333)
peppers (3284)
carrots (3080)
green beans (2855)
peas (2591)
squash (2392)
Brussels sprouts (2334)
zucchini (2293)
spinach (2014)
cucumbers (1782)
artichokes (1693)
onions (1561)
avocados (1502)
sweet potatoes (1276)
mushrooms (1169)
okra (971)
The NUMBER ONE chosen "vegetable" is not a vegetable. There are others on this list, tomatoes & avocados obviously, potatoes (arguable about if "tubers" are considered root vegetables many people do) but the one that really REALLY kills me is mushrooms. 1169 people picked mushrooms as their favorite vegetable. What is the world coming to?
corn (8040)
asparagus (7411)
tomatoes (4861)
broccoli (4832)
potatoes (3333)
peppers (3284)
carrots (3080)
green beans (2855)
peas (2591)
squash (2392)
Brussels sprouts (2334)
zucchini (2293)
spinach (2014)
cucumbers (1782)
artichokes (1693)
onions (1561)
avocados (1502)
sweet potatoes (1276)
mushrooms (1169)
okra (971)
The NUMBER ONE chosen "vegetable" is not a vegetable. There are others on this list, tomatoes & avocados obviously, potatoes (arguable about if "tubers" are considered root vegetables many people do) but the one that really REALLY kills me is mushrooms. 1169 people picked mushrooms as their favorite vegetable. What is the world coming to?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Learn Something New Every Day
Today I saw a Sara Lee delivery truck. Turns out the slogan is "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee" instead of the "Nobody does it like Sara Lee" that I always thought it was.
This reminds me of playing Rock Band and singing the lyrics to "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. I always thought the line was "The cross eyed bear that you gave to me." But it's not. I blame this on being young when I first heard the song and not really being able to wrap my head around a cross bearing reference whereas a funny looking teddy bear? Now that made sense.
I also noticed (about a year ago) that the Sun Microsystems logo actually says SUN. It isn't just a bunch of squiggly lines.
This reminds me of playing Rock Band and singing the lyrics to "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. I always thought the line was "The cross eyed bear that you gave to me." But it's not. I blame this on being young when I first heard the song and not really being able to wrap my head around a cross bearing reference whereas a funny looking teddy bear? Now that made sense.
I also noticed (about a year ago) that the Sun Microsystems logo actually says SUN. It isn't just a bunch of squiggly lines.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
There is a dead cricket in my room
It is under a shoe. I didn't kill it with the shoe, it was already dead when I found it. I imagine Mozzie actually performed some sort of normal cat function in between licking my pillows and leaping over Simon's head repeatedly in an effort to elicit a game of chase. I just don't like picking up dead bugs, it really grosses me out, so I put a shoe on top of it until I decide to vacuum.
This presents more problems see we have a canister vacuum. I don't like canister vacuums. So the already moderate chance that I would vacuum in the near future is significantly lessened. I guess it will just have to stay under the shoe for a while longer.
The other problem is that the animals like to wrestle in the area of said shoe so sometimes it gets knocked out of position. During one such match the cricket lost a leg. I put a shoe over it. It wasn't even the pair to the first shoe. Now that is two pairs of shoes I can't wear until I vacuum. Good thing I have a lot of shoes.
This presents more problems see we have a canister vacuum. I don't like canister vacuums. So the already moderate chance that I would vacuum in the near future is significantly lessened. I guess it will just have to stay under the shoe for a while longer.
The other problem is that the animals like to wrestle in the area of said shoe so sometimes it gets knocked out of position. During one such match the cricket lost a leg. I put a shoe over it. It wasn't even the pair to the first shoe. Now that is two pairs of shoes I can't wear until I vacuum. Good thing I have a lot of shoes.
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