I Like My Middle Name

The backpack saga, why does this always happen to me?

2011-09-25T22:30:00.008-05:00

So I wanted a racket backpack for the days of the week I have my tennis class. I wanted it for multiple reasons, none of which are important to this story except to understand that I wanted a backpack not a bag.

So I search online and I don't find anything that I particularly like so today I ventured out to three stores to find what I was looking for. I learned a lesson today. All racket bags are ohmygod ugly but the designers of racket backpacks deserve a special level of hell.

Allow me to illustrate how ugly they are by showing you the one I did buy. Meaning this is the LEAST ugly one I saw so really you can only imagine what else is out there.

Yeah. I think you understand me now.

So I'm at store number two today and the guy comes up to see if I need any help, I explain that I'm looking for a racket backpack that isn't ugly. He agrees that none of the racket bags are all that attractive since they have huge logos and brand names plastered all over them. So then he kind of sheepishly says, "Well we have this line of fashion racket backpacks too." And points around the corner. I get my hopes a little bit up, walk around the corner, and see this:

I mean... What. The. Fuck.

Yes, you are looking at shiny, purple, fake crocodile. And yes, behind it you are seeing a red version, and beside it you are seeing a blue version and a yellow version. Even the black in the back couldn't come close to saving it.

The look on my face must have said it all because the sales guy said, "yeah, they aren't really any better." Better??? Aren't any better??? I think we can safely say these are so much worse the fact that they exist makes me fear for humanity.

Bedside Manner?

2011-09-16T21:20:00.002-05:00

So I'm at the vet with Mozzie (annual checkup and rabies shot, nothing wrong) and the vet tech is trying to get his attention. Mozzie is completely ignoring him* as he does. So the vet tech asks, "Is he deaf?" I explained that we (the vet's office thinks Kailey and I are a couple) had originally thought that because he never reacted to loud noises but that he and I had "conversations" so I thought he could hear*. So he says, "Ok, white cats sometime have neurological problems and can show up as blindness or deafness." Then he walks out of the room.

Ummm. That's how you want to end this conversation? Say my cat might be crazy and then leave**?

*Ok, I think he actually might be kind of hard of hearing but I don't think he is completely deaf.

**I'm fairly sure he was just explaining why he was asking the question, not trying to freak me out. And yes, I know these problems run in all white animals of most species.

Reason Why I Don't Blog

2011-07-29T15:43:00.004-05:00

So I found a folder in my email called "To Blog". In it was 4 pictures of Simon and Zoe. Not even very good pictures. I really hope I originally had a good story or something to go with them. sigh.

But anyway, the real reason for not blogging is that this is basically my life*

*The song, not so much the monkeys.
*And not including the "plans for tomorrow" part in the middle.

But I will admit to randomly choreographing dances in my living room if something catchy comes on.

See they really do play together

2011-06-06T16:58:00.004-05:00

You'll have to excuse the state of the room. That is Kailey's room, blame her.

It is really only the first 45 seconds I just don't know how to edit the video down.

Way better than "Jerk Store"

2011-06-02T09:48:00.004-05:00

Who here hasn't had a George Costanza moment where you come up with the super great come-back but like way too late? Ok, we all know "jerk store" is a terrible comeback but we know the feeling right?

I had the opposite moment. I actually said what I thought and it was HILARIOUS, I'm not sure the dude on the phone thought so but it was all I could do to not laugh, especially since saying it completely seriously was part of it's appeal.

(In case you can't tell his tone was getting increasingly rude and loud as the call went on)

Me: Austin Multi-Line Services
Dude: Hi Becky, this is Joe and I need to talk to you about your merchant services account.
Me: Oh sorry, Becky retired a few years ago. Would you like to speak with the new owner?
Dude: No. I need to talk to Becky.
Me: Well I'm sorry but she doesn't work here anymore, if it is about the company's merchant account then you should probably talk to the new owner.
Dude: No. Just give me Becky's number.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Dude: Why not? I need to talk to her.
Me: Because we don't give out personal information about current or former employees.
Dude: Just give it to me.
Me: No. Sorry.
Dude: I need to talk to her.
Me: About her merchant account?
Dude: Yes! Give me her number.
Me: I still can't give it to you.
Dude (kinda yelling at this point): Well how do YOU suggest I get a hold of her if you won't give me the number?
Me: You could try an owl. They always seems to find who they are looking for.
Dude: .........
Dude: I'm going to give you my number and you tell her to call me. Write this down! 1-888-555-5555 (I don't remember the actual numbers). Got it???
Me: Sure.
Dude: You didn't write that down did you?
Me: Nope
Dude: *click*

I think the important part is that he didn't ask what the hell I was talking about so he must have understood the reference. I laughed pretty hard once I hung up the phone.

My First Laser Tag Experience

2011-05-27T12:07:00.002-05:00

And I did not come in last. I was like 11th out of 14 people WHICH IS NOT LAST!

It reminded me of bumper cars in a way. I hate bumper cars. Let me clarify, I hate doing bumper cars with a bunch of people I don't know and I have never been in a situation where I was friends with all the other people in the other bumper cars. What is the point to bumping into a bunch of people you don't know? Seriously. Alliances can't be formed, smack talk doesn't happen, you can't yell at the person who just pinned you down in a corner (unless you're some kind of asshole). All you have is randomly bumping into someone and then awkward eye contact with a complete stranger. It's stupid. I guess some people enjoy that sort of thing but I am not one of them.

Luckily it was all going to be people I knew (well most of whom I met earlier that evening) but basically one big group of friends. That I can handle and thus, laser tag was fun. Sort of. Lets just say I enjoyed it but I'm not going to be organizing any parties any time soon.

Three random dudes showed up at right before we went in and joined our game. Apparently I never even encountered one of them in the "arena" since we never shot each other, either that or we are both terrible shots. One of them was a former Marine, Jason (the birthday boy) took it upon himself to "own" him. He was downright successful. Then he ran into Jason's dad (literally) and fell down. All in all, not exactly a commercial for the Marine Corps.

For the record I let the birthday boy beat me in laser tag because I had just schooled him in bowling earlier that evening (125-117). What second game? No there wasn't a second bowling game that I lost, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Josh was there too, I schooled him in bowling too.

What is the World Coming To?

2011-05-24T15:04:00.002-05:00

The Pioneer Woman frequently gives away awesome things on her blog. I never win but I'm trying. Usually these giveaways consist of her asking a simple question like "what are you doing this weekend?" or "What's for dinner?" and then you answer in the comments and she chooses randomly from the comments. This week's question was "What is your favorite vegetable?" These were the top answers:

corn (8040)
asparagus (7411)
tomatoes (4861)
broccoli (4832)
potatoes (3333)
peppers (3284)
carrots (3080)
green beans (2855)
peas (2591)
squash (2392)
Brussels sprouts (2334)
zucchini (2293)
spinach (2014)
cucumbers (1782)
artichokes (1693)
onions (1561)
avocados (1502)
sweet potatoes (1276)
mushrooms (1169)
okra (971)

The NUMBER ONE chosen "vegetable" is not a vegetable. There are others on this list, tomatoes & avocados obviously, potatoes (arguable about if "tubers" are considered root vegetables many people do) but the one that really REALLY kills me is mushrooms. 1169 people picked mushrooms as their favorite vegetable. What is the world coming to?

For the Record

2011-05-17T15:56:00.001-05:00

I vacuumed yesterday. Just fyi. No More cricket.

Learn Something New Every Day

2011-05-17T15:48:00.002-05:00

Today I saw a Sara Lee delivery truck. Turns out the slogan is "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee" instead of the "Nobody does it like Sara Lee" that I always thought it was.

This reminds me of playing Rock Band and singing the lyrics to "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. I always thought the line was "The cross eyed bear that you gave to me." But it's not. I blame this on being young when I first heard the song and not really being able to wrap my head around a cross bearing reference whereas a funny looking teddy bear? Now that made sense.

I also noticed (about a year ago) that the Sun Microsystems logo actually says SUN. It isn't just a bunch of squiggly lines.

There is a dead cricket in my room

2011-05-15T00:52:00.002-05:00

It is under a shoe. I didn't kill it with the shoe, it was already dead when I found it. I imagine Mozzie actually performed some sort of normal cat function in between licking my pillows and leaping over Simon's head repeatedly in an effort to elicit a game of chase. I just don't like picking up dead bugs, it really grosses me out, so I put a shoe on top of it until I decide to vacuum.

This presents more problems see we have a canister vacuum. I don't like canister vacuums. So the already moderate chance that I would vacuum in the near future is significantly lessened. I guess it will just have to stay under the shoe for a while longer.

The other problem is that the animals like to wrestle in the area of said shoe so sometimes it gets knocked out of position. During one such match the cricket lost a leg. I put a shoe over it. It wasn't even the pair to the first shoe. Now that is two pairs of shoes I can't wear until I vacuum. Good thing I have a lot of shoes.

What's Up?

2011-05-11T22:07:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's been a while, I know. I'm having trouble writing up a single post about something so here is a quick rundown.

- I got "ma'am-ed" at the grocery store this weekend but then the guy asked if chicken broth was the same thing as cream of chicken soup. I'm not sure if the fact that he was easily in his mid to late 30's makes it more sad or more adorable that he had no idea what chicken broth was.

- Kailey left last week. This means that you are probably going to get more random blogging again because there isn't a person here when I get home to tell all the silly stories to. It also means I have these two knuckleheads and I am the only girl:

- I did my first craft fair on Saturday and I think it was a huge success so I'm definitely excited about doing more of them. I absolutely could not have done it without Josh's help. He carried lots of heavy things, helped me put up my tent, and took care of Simon all day while I was working.

I Have Awesome Friends

2011-02-21T20:31:00.008-06:00

You should think about getting awesome friends.

Remember when I said I got new business cards? Well they look like this

I decided it was finally time to replace the banner and avatar I've been using on the selling sites because the ones I had were crap. Ok, maybe crap is a strong word but I did the banner myself in photoshop and my photoshop skills are kind of lacking so yeah, crap probably isn't too strong a word. So I sent a request over to Kristin and demanded awesome! I mean I demanded in a nice way (right Kristin?). Well it doesn't matter because she came through, just as I expected.

I'm madly in love with both but for some reason the little avatar makes me want to giggle with glee every time I look at it.

And all of this was perfect timing because I just made some new products, little change purses and I'm super excited about them too.

2011-02-17T23:04:00.007-06:00

Well, Monday was February 14th and we all know what that means!

Simon's Birthday!! Someone turned the big Zero Four!

I baked a cake. It was peanut butter and carrot and the dogs loved it. We also thought it was pretty tasty. It tasted like a peanut butter cookie except it was cake. So, I have a pretty healthy cake recipe if anyone needs it.

Simon about to enjoy his cake

Simon chasing his friend Cornelius Fudge

Zoe and Alfie taking a break to get some loves

Yeah, the pictures aren't great but if you think wrangling kids at a birthday party is hard you should try wrangling dogs at a birthday party. Also my phone was dying so I was trying to take as many as I could before it bit the dust.

Just Believe Me

2011-01-21T18:19:00.004-06:00

I have wanted to blog about this for a little while because I am utterly astounded by it BUT I was afraid that by blogging about it you might just become curious and then go against my wishes soooooo please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just believe me when I tell you...

DO NOT READ THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

DO NOT READ THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

DO NOT READ THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

These are horrible books. Really, really horrible books that were made into a pretty awesome TV show. By all means, watch the TV version but I cannot, for the life of me, see how someone was inspired by the utter crap that is the books. By the end, I was barely reading the dialog (because it made my eyes vomit), mostly I was just skimming for plot.

Problem 1: There are four "books" in this series.
Except there aren't four books, there are two books. The first three books are all one story that it seems like someone thought was too long so they threw darts at the book to determine where they would cut it to make three books (and probably more money). See books in a series should each have their own beginning, middle, and end. While you carry characters, major plots and themes throughout the series each book has to be its own story! You can't stop in the middle of a scene and call that a "cliff-hanger" it doesn't work like that. Besides, if you really wanted a cliff-hanger you should have ended Book 2 about a chapter later, right after newly-turned vampire Elena says she loves Damon. That ruse is only maintained for like 3 chapters in book 2, so basically its ONLY purpose is to be cliff-hangery but since you correct it so fast there is nothing cliff-hangery about it!

Problem 2: Have you met a teenager before?
17 year old girls do not wear ribbons in their hair. 17 year old girls who are the queen of their school do not spend an entire paragraph choosing what color ribbon to wear in their hair on the first day of school. 17 year old girls do not refer to themselves as the queen of their school and they don't talk about their friends as their royal court. They really don't take blood oaths to help the queen get the new hot boy in school to be her boyfriend.

They don't say things like, "You snubbed me in public multiple times!" snubbed? really? or "I don't know if I'm close to him. He puts up walls that no one can break down." That one was attributed to a 17 year old football star. Sorry folks, teenagers (and most adults) are not this self-aware.

Problem 3: The fourth book is stupid, and by far the best one.
The main character DIES at the end of the third book. DIES!!!! So you have her come back in visions to her psychic best friend? No. If you want to write four books don't kill off your main character in book three. This is like basic writing 101. Why? because it makes it seem like you only wanted to write three books but people didn't like that Elena died so as an afterthought you wrote a fourth book. It is stupid. God, the only thing that could make it worse would be if you somehow brought her back to life at the end of the book, oh wait... you did.

Yeah, I gave away the endings and I did it without warning you. Why? Because I don't want you to read these books. Now you know they are terrible AND you know the ending so there is absolutely no reason for you to read them. Ever.

These are our Children

2011-01-16T15:19:00.004-06:00

So Simon and Mozzie are sitting on the couch together like brothers who love each other so I decide to take a picture.

Zoe was standing right next to me so I tell her to get up in the shot. Amazingly she instantly complies!!! But then she just does this...

Sigh.

Although, you gotta love the look on Simon's face with this going on next to him.

It's 2011 Y'All!

2011-01-02T15:55:00.002-06:00

I do have resolutions but I'm not going to tell you what they are. Telling you what they are would mean admitting I have faults and I think we all know I'm not great at that...maybe that should be a resolution? Plus this way when I don't keep them I won't have to tell you that too.

Mostly I just hope that 2011 ends with me having a job since (if all goes according to plan) I will be ending the year with a college degree. So, a job. I should be able to handle that. Right?

I do plan on keeping track of the books I read this year (this should be easy with my brand new kindle!!). I know most of you don't care but I actually really enjoy reading the book lists that others write up (I'm look at you Holly!) because I'm always looking for something to read. Mine should be an interesting mix of the classics - because they are free - and stuff with vampires with some young adult (probably with vampires) thrown in.

I also plan on winning at least one thing from pioneer woman this year. I think this will be the hardest one to keep.

I also plan to cook more this year. I think I was starting to do a little better in 2009 and fell off the wagon a bit in 2010. So watch out Kailey! I'll be bringing meat into the house because I can't live off of fish alone. I took pictures of some recipes in books last time we were at half price books (yes, even at half price I'm not buying the whole book for two recipes) so maybe I'll start with those.

After reading back through this post I think I might also want to look into limiting the number of parenthetical comments I make on my own blog.

Ok just one real one. Kailey I'm going to get through all 9 weeks of couch to 5k so feel free to give me a dirty look if I object to going to the gym.

Reason Why I Hate Physics

2010-12-07T15:59:00.003-06:00

p=mv
p=m/v

This is probably the most annoying thing about physics. Those are both formulas written on my formula sheet and driving me freaking batty for a few minutes before I realize....

momentum (p) = mass (m) x velocity (v)
density (p) = mass (m) / volume (v)

COME UP WITH DIFFERENT VARIABLES!

Oh lamda? That lovely greek letter. Are you talking about wavelength or decay constant? Is that a capital C or a lowercase c? Because one means Coulombs (unit of charge) and the other is the speed of light.

God I hate you.

Guess what I'm studying right now?

October 9th?????

2010-12-07T00:37:00.002-06:00

Are you kidding me? Has it really been that long y'all*?

I feel like I should have something important to say to you but I don't. Oo oo. I may have made friends? I told this information to Josh and he asked if we were going to go out for drinks or something and all I could think of to respond was, "I'm not sure if they are old enough." Yeah, this is why making friends at school is so hard. Thinking back, they must be old enough, right? Right?

Considering how much studying I have to do this week I'll probably come up with something more interesting to blog about later to get me out it.

*Deal with it. Long before I moved to Texas I enjoyed saying "y'all" I just never actually did it.

Evolution of a Picture

2010-10-09T18:14:00.007-05:00

Getting a good shot of the kids is not easy.

First I tried to get all three, but Mozzie had other ideas.

Then, Zoe looks adorable but Simon has decided to royally screw it up.

And of course then Simon looks great but Zoe decides not to look at the camera.

And we finally get it!

Sometimes I feel like Goldilocks but without all the breaking and entering.

This is Not our Cat

2010-10-07T09:22:00.000-05:00

Weeks before we got a cat Kailey wasn't paying attention to me for some reason. I don't remember why, I just remember that I was waiting for her to finish something so that we could watch tv or something. I was killing time by looking at funny pictures on a funny blog and emailing them to her so that whenever she was done with whatever was more important than tv she would have a million emails to read (AFTER we watched tv). I guess the moral of the story is don't ignore me when I'm bored.

Anywho...I sent her this one funny cat picture. Today Kailey looked at it again for some reason and realized ummmm this is totally Mozzie. I mean it can't be because we got him when he was a tiny baby kitten but it is totally Mozzie. I mean look at him! All white with a black smudge on his head? Sleeping in some strange and uncomfortable place (he was in Kailey's bathroom sink this morning)? Yeah, that is our cat.

Oh Yeah, We Got a Cat

2010-10-05T09:09:00.005-05:00

Did I forget to mention that?

His name is Mozzie and he is a monster. An adorable, hilarious, monster. I blame Kailey for the fact that we now have a cat, she blames me. To this day we do not know who brought it up first but now we have a cat. (It was totally Kailey).

Nothing phases this cat. Seriously. Like for a while we thought he was deaf because he wouldn't even react when the vacuum cleaner came on or if we dropped something on the floor inches from his head. I'm pretty sure he isn't deaf anymore because I also dropped something on him and he didn't seem to care and he also reacts when the dogs are barking at something.

Speaking of the dogs, oh man is he the perfect cat for the dogs. The best picture I have of the three of them is below, usually when they are that close together they are chasing each other, wrestling, or Zoe is humping Mozzie while Simon watches. Yes, I will work on getting a picture of that.

Anyway, here is our new baby!

Where Did He Go?

2010-09-27T23:20:00.002-05:00

Today will henceforth be known as the day that we learned to keep a much closer eye on Mozzie*. Either that or the day that he learns that there is a reason the saying goes "curiosity killed the cat." FOR THE RECORD: we did not kill nor come close to killing our cat, we just kind of lost him for a while.

It went something like this...

I needed a trash bag out of the bottom drawer. I opened said drawer. Mozzie investigated as he must investigate everything in the house. Kailey commented on how inquisitive he is. We both walked away. I return a couple minutes later, notice the drawer is still open so I close it. I'm not sure how much time elapsed at this point, Kailey your thoughts? 15 minutes? Kailey returns to the kitchen. She pauses, looks around, then announces "Umm Tory? I can hear Mozzie but I can't see him anywhere." I come in the kitchen, look around, nothing. I say, "Did he get in that drawer when it was open?" Kailey opens the drawer. No Mozzie. We close the drawer. Hmmm. We look around the dining room**. Nothing. Glance around the living room. No cat. In a moment inspiration I pull the drawer out completely. Out pops a little kitty head. Yeah, now I am utterly freaked out anytime he comes near the fridge when the door is open.

He also flushed the toilet this morning so there is a chance that he is a genius who just happens to get stuck in drawers occasionally. I'm sure he wouldn't be the first. Probably.

* Did I mention we got a cat? Well most of you know anyway.
**This room is normally referred to as "dogtopia" but I figured I would go with the more traditional naming so that you would know what the hell I was talking about.

Business Cards

2010-08-22T16:59:00.003-05:00

I got new business cards, don't tell me you don't like them because I am madly in love with them.

It has been a weird month for the wallet orders, I had a week in there where I sold seven wallets (to six different people). I don't think I ever sold that many at once even at Christmas time - not counting the fair that Gen took them to and sold like 10 in a couple hours. I was so excited, I know Gen and Kailey are tired of hearing about it.

I've also decided that I'm not going to get annoyed with people when they are being well... annoying about their orders. I've had two such customers recently and as soon as both received their initial orders they bought more so no more bitching about them.

Two New Favorites

2010-08-12T16:25:00.003-05:00

So I was all excited that these two songs that are my current favorites weren't both country songs. One is definitely country and the other I've never heard on the country station so I was thinking "YAY! Diversity!" Then I looked it up to see who sang it. Turns out it is a country group with some pop music cross-over appeal. So dang y'all I tried. Maybe you'll enjoy anyway.

Weaving? I guess so!

2010-07-29T12:35:00.001-05:00

I had to write a blog post for a new online store because they "encourage interaction with the community." I think we all know how little I enjoy interacting with the community but I complied because more stores = more money, right? Anyway, since it is a blog post I thought I'd throw it up here too. No point in wasting a perfectly good post.

When I was young my dad taught me how to spin wool. I had my own little kid-sized drop spindle and everything. When I was a little bigger I even learned how to use the spinning wheel. I also enjoyed using this big contraption (that I can't remember the name of) to wind the spun wool into balls. I didn't really like the weaving part though and my dad was a weaver. As I got older our crafting parted ways even more, I'm a crocheter, he is a knitter, I make things out of duct tape, he makes things out of yarn.

One day I'm at their house making wallets and he walks in and kind of stares at me assembling the exterior and suddenly he gets all excited, "You're WEAVING!"

"What? I am not! I'm, I'm, ummm, yeah I guess I'm weaving."

I'm sure it isn't just one thing that led me to make my duct tape wallets this way but I bet growing up in a house with weaving probably helped so, Thanks Daddy!

Nothing is Sacred huh?

2010-07-27T20:41:00.000-05:00

Considering you're making a TV Movie out of Pillars of the Earth, I couldn't agree more.

Costco

2010-07-26T20:32:00.004-05:00

We went to costco because we needed two things: toilet paper and cholula*. This is our life.

You see, they don't sell cholula in large enough bottles at the grocery store for Kailey she eats it on EVERYTHING. Quite frankly I wouldn't be surprised if she splashes some on her morning cereal. She needs to get it by the quarter gallon (spatula for size). Hopefully this will last her a bit.

*Of course we did end up buying more than that, I mean Taken for $6.99?? You can't pass that up.

Kailey, You've Doomed us Both

2010-07-19T17:16:00.000-05:00

So Kailey works in a place that had not great air conditioning. This is a HUGE issue in the summer in Texas. To compensate she went and bough these "comfy pants" as we call them because they are loose and airy and easy to move in. Pretty soon I realized that she had accumulated five or six pairs and I was never seeing her wear anything EXCEPT the comfy pants. I, of course, made fun of her about this issue.

Yesterday I caved and bought a pair for myself (hey $10 at Target!) and I gotta tell you, I'm never wearing anything else ever again. I also went back today and got a second pair. I don't know if I can put on jeans again. Maybe when it gets cold and I have to go outside. MAYBE.

We also spent some time trying to decide if comfy pants could "maintain the dignity and solemnity of the courtroom" on Monday when Kailey has jury duty and has to uphold that ever-so-vague dress code. I think we decided no.

Glad That's Over

2010-07-18T17:00:00.002-05:00

So Wednesday was Simon's big day and everything went great. I dropped him off in the morning and I was fine until I had to read the form talking about complications and then check the box saying I approved any necessary life saving measures if something went wrong, that kind of freaked me out. Luckily the vet called around 12 to tell me everything was fine and he was waking up.

Kailey went with me to pick him up so that I could hold him on the drive home and they told us all about how adorable he is and how he was charming everyone in the office. That's my baby. Also, we're pretty sure they thought we were a couple. We get that a lot actually, especially when we lived in a one bedroom, either that or people think we're sisters. sigh.

Anyway... He was pretty stoned that night, it was kind of adorable, and Zoe couldn't stop sniffing his breath so apparently he smelled different missing a tooth.

I'm glad we got it over with and everything went well and now he is all fixed. I'm not sure how Simon feels about it but he seems to have forgotten about it completely and I feel like (given the choice) he would totally go through it all again if it means he gets wet food for four days. He LOVES it, it was even more important than seeing who knocked at the door and that is saying something for him.

Umm Google?

2010-07-12T15:43:00.003-05:00

Would you like to explain just what I was doing that got me this targeted ad?

How can you resist this level of adorableness?

2010-07-01T15:50:00.003-05:00

You can't. You just can't.

You also gotta love Zoe in the background licking her butt.

I'm Kind of Insulted

2010-06-30T14:55:00.002-05:00

REALLY?!?!?! What is it in my purchasing history with you Borders that could POSSIBLY make you think that a book by Glenn Beck is an appropriate personalized recommendation?

Pull it together.

More Simon Pictures

2010-06-27T16:55:00.004-05:00

because the alternative is studying.

He seems so proud of himself.

When the movers came Simon was a little nervous and wanted to go hide in his crate but the movers had already taken the crate so he went and (pathetically) sat in the crate indentation in the carpet.

On the Off Chance we aren't Facebook Friends

2010-06-21T21:10:00.003-05:00

Simon has to have surgery next month (collective awwwww). He broke his upper back molar clean in half and it has to be removed. Unfortunately this is the most difficult tooth to remove as it has three big, deep roots and it has to come out before his gum gets infected and to relieve the pain the poor baby must be going through.

Of course, this ain't cheap. To raise money for it I'm pushing the duct tape wallets. This way Simon gets to have his surgery AND you get an awesome wallet, it really is win-win. Remember, you don't have to order "off the rack" I can do any combination of the colors I've got. Be creative!

Sooooo, tell your friends! I mean, how can you resist this adorable face?

Oh Pasha, We Missed You

2010-06-20T20:21:00.002-05:00

Ummm, I'm aware of the fact that there were two girls dancing this number as well but did they really expect anyone to see anything but Pasha? Even after seeing it multiple times I can't look away from him.

Ummm

2010-06-11T11:01:00.000-05:00

Can someone please tell me when Matt Leblanc went from doofus to kinda hot?

It's Not Just Kailey

2010-06-10T11:00:00.000-05:00

I can cook too!

Puppies

2010-06-09T10:56:00.001-05:00

These are our dogs:

These are not our dogs:

TOTALLY different.

Here's What You Missed

2010-06-08T10:48:00.005-05:00

The puppies are as adorable as ever, especially when they form our own personal little yin and yang.

Kailey made something called German Pancake which is basically just a delicious buttery boat you can fill with syrup. In other words, I loved it.

Who the hell decorates with duct tape???

And at some point I went home to California, it was BEAUTIFUL.

Where I've Been

2010-05-23T22:18:00.003-05:00

See first there was finals and then ... well ... you can see my schedule. It is very strict. You see I COULDN'T blog, my schedule wouldn't let me.

Texans Loooooooooove God

2010-05-04T15:51:00.003-05:00

And judging by the fact that it is the first week of May and we are cracking 90 degrees I'm not so sure the feeling is mutual but that is entirely off my point for this post.

This is what I pass on my bus ride home from school:
Catholic Church
Baptist Church
Methodist Church
Baptist Church
Methodist Church
Unitarian Universalist Church (They believe in God right?)
Baptist Church
Lutheran Church
Presbyterian Church
Bible Church
Methodist Church
Baptist Church
Lutheran Church
Catholic Church

Given that I'm (totally not) one, I really enjoy the Catholic Church acting as the bookends for my trip.

I also pass a gas station with a sign that says "BEING SAVED IS LIKE A FREE GIFT FROM GOD," a Lighthouse Worship Center, and a trailer style building that says Jesu Cristo es el Senor: La Iglesia del Reino de Dios which I (probably incorrectly) translate as Jesus Christ is the Man so I like that church's style.

I also pass a Church of Scientology but I'm not so removed from being Catholic that I can count that one.

2010-04-30T16:29:00.003-05:00

So there is this new thing that Kailey and I have decided to try out, it is called ummmmm, hang on let me get my notes, ok yeah, it's called "Cooking."

Kailey starts things off with a delicious entry:

Since it is my turn this weekend we'll see how long this lasts. Wish me luck, the bar was set pretty high.

I just can't explain to you my love for this right now

2010-04-14T19:11:00.002-05:00

Online Dating

2010-04-01T19:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm doing that shit again.

I got an email from the site saying, "Happy Birthday!" but I can read between the lines, I know it really says, "You will now show up as one year older on our site. Good luck finding a man! Here's one we think would settle for you!"

Ken claims to be 26 with a graduate degree and works as a "milatiry truckdriver." He enjoys reading! For example he just finished a book and "just liked how the author used color to decible moods and emontions" and describes himself as "compassionate sponantous at times loud lol." We think you'll be great together!

I remain unconvinced about the graduate degree thing.

Birthday present from me :o)

2010-04-01T15:17:00.002-05:00

I'm Pretty Sure

2010-03-31T15:46:00.001-05:00

she took this...

to get back at me for taking this...

Why I Like Castle

2010-03-31T13:22:00.002-05:00

Besides the obvious of course.

I love Castle's writers for so many reasons. I love that the main character is a writer so the writers get to put their own pet peeves into the dialog and you get a running gag about the proper use of the word irony. I also love that they actually seem to be intelligent. So the past two episodes of Castle were a two parter in which Castle and Beckett were chasing a serial killer, since it was a serial killer the FBI shows up to profile and catch the guy. I've watched enough (too much) TV to know what happens next.

See when you watch a cop show and the FBI shows up what happens is the FBI is so caught up in rules and regulations that they can't get anything done and the cops have to go behind their backs to solve the case on their own. When you watch an FBI show then the locals are going to be too personally involved and go off all half cocked almost ruining the investigation which then has to be salvaged by the FBI. This is TV writing 101. This is not what happened. They got along. They worked together. They respected each other. They solved the case and caught the bad guy. Together.

Here is where it gets REALLY weird though. Beckett and the lead FBI agent were both women. They managed to show two strong, professional women who were good at their jobs working together and respecting each other. Does Beckett get kicked off the case for being too close to it all? Of course she does, what does she do about it? Well she goes home and gets a good night's sleep and then says it was the right decision to make because she was too close to the investigation and she would have done the same thing. (pardon my french but...) What. The. Fuck.

I can't tell you how nice it is to see two intelligent women getting along on TV. There was no bitchery or backstabbing, there was only communication and respect. I am a little annoyed that this is so surprising though. So thank you Castle writers, and to the rest of you, how about we show that it is possible for women to work together on something that doesn't involve bringing down another woman.

And just for good measure: My favorite Castle moment (no matter WHAT happens on Castle, this will always be the best scene).

This one too

2010-03-30T21:40:00.003-05:00

I forgot to post this picture too. For some reason my mom thought this card would be appropriate for me...

Happy Birthday to Me!

2010-03-30T18:21:00.006-05:00

Saturday morning started like this...

And 15 minutes later looked like this...

The puppies helped with the stuff in the middle...

After presents Kailey and I went shopping! We hit Old Navy, The Container Store, Ross, and Borders. At Borders I decided to buy New Moon since I didn't get it for my birthday, the girl kindly asked if I needed a gift receipt and I had to admit that no, I did not because it was totally for me. Then Kailey wanted her own bag because she didn't want her book touching New Moon. Well I don't want your stupid book contaminating my horribly awesome movie! SO THERE!

Then I put on a dress, high heels, make-up and did my hair and went out to dinner. I had said I wanted steak or sushi so we went to Benihana and I got both. Deliciously both in my tummy.

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, calls, texts, and facebook posts! Special thanks to Kailey for waking me with the smell of baking cinnamon rolls!

I Don't See It

2010-03-11T20:16:00.000-06:00

Kailey keeps insisting that I have some sort of thing for the color purple. Eh, I don't know...

You Know What's Awesome?

2010-03-10T21:33:00.004-06:00

When the day is bright and sunny and beautiful and then for about 2.5 minutes the clouds roll in, thunder rings through the air and it POURS down raining. Then it is over and the sun comes back out and everything is beautiful again.

You know what's NOT awesome?

When those 2.5 minutes coincide perfectly with your 2.5 minute walk from the bus to your apartment.

Especially when you decided to wear those adorable red suede flats and they get absolutely soaked through and then your feet end up looking like something out of a Tarantino flick*.

*For the record: this is all red dye that soaked through, not anything more nefarious.

Couples Date

2010-03-08T15:45:00.004-06:00

LAST weekend (as in 9 days ago, not 2 days ago) Kailey and I ventured out of Austin to meet our married friends Jonathan and Mandy (up from San Antonio) in Fredericksburg, TX. Not only is this small Texas town absolutely adorable in its small-town charmingness but it is also the birthplace of Admiral Nimitz which goes a long way towards explaining why the National Museum of the Pacific War is in the middle of Texas or why you have to take Pearl Harbor Memorial Highway to get there. I remember driving through when I moved to Austin and I couldn't help but love it and I think that they should absolutely have it be the first thing you see when you enter Texas and not ~~Mexico~~ El Paso because that ain't pretty.

We had a delicious lunch where Kailey had a gourmet "hotdog" (it was in quotes on the menu, don't blame me) that was the size of our actual dogs. We did some browsing at the toy store and the candy store and the christmas store and we got some ice cream. All in all, a really fun little getaway.

Mandy & Jonathan looking adorable

Me & Kailey in another picture to add to our "Together Forever" album

She Keeps Life Interesting

2010-02-26T14:54:00.002-06:00

At least once per week Kailey and I sit down to watch some tv or a movie and I hear the following...

"Tory (and you have to imagine that being said in a REALLY kinda whiny voice)! My shirt is on inside out." *Fake whiny crying*

But this week, I got this...

"Tory! My pants are on inside out."

This is Why You Check the Weather EVERY Day

2010-02-23T13:55:00.006-06:00

Because one day you're frolicking at the park with the pups

And showing off your school spirit via your toenails.

And the next day you are building a snowman.

And, is he a dog?

2010-02-17T17:59:00.002-06:00

So I just went out and walked Simon, we came upon an older woman who bent down to pet him and cooed about how cute he is (he gets that a lot), the following ensued:

Woman: What's his name?
Me: Simon
Woman: What a great name for a dog.
Long pause, she looks up at me
Woman: My husband's name is Simon.

I can't tell if she was just being nice or if I know way too much about her personal life now.

Kailey Made Me Do It

2010-02-16T16:18:00.003-06:00

Excuse my hair being all over the place, it is windy.

Special thanks to Kristin for her excellent smudging work.

You Have to Make Your Own Fun

2010-02-15T20:52:00.004-06:00

Kailey and I had the following conversation via facebook while sitting less than three feet apart.

Victoria
entertain me!
don't ignore the noise
you know you can hear it
Kailey
you are a child!
un enfant!
Victoria
but super fun to have around
Kailey
annoying is fun?
Victoria
for me it is
Kailey
what if i'm, the annoying one?
*Me out loud: Crap I have to make a wallet.*
Kailey
go make a wallet
Victoria
what ever
Kailey
you suck
Victoria
your face sucks

Then Kailey said something inappropriate so I had to cut it before the end.

Happy Birthday Simon!!!

2010-02-14T16:07:00.003-06:00

Today is Simon's birthday (and ONLY Simon's birthday).

He got a big floppy elephant and so far is a big fan.

And loves cuddling with it so far.

You need to watch this too...

2010-02-12T17:57:00.002-06:00

I'm wasting time on youtube, can you tell?

This is Awesome

2010-02-12T17:35:00.004-06:00

4:35 had me CRACKING up.

Apparently there are a lot of these "Literal Videos" and I just never knew.

Dammit, I'm a Hipster

2010-02-12T13:16:00.003-06:00

I don't have an iPhone but my phone more closely resembles one than a blackberry or the other ridiculous option.

I have a slight facebook addiction. Not a terrible one but a slight one. I wouldn't go near twitter or a drum circle.

Scents make me nauseated so this one is moot.

Thanks Gen for making me buy skinny jeans. I also really really love my vans.

I'd rather have the range rover than the other two options but I think 1 category isn't enough to skew the results.

I love tacos, just had a couple in fact.

Well, being a girl means I don't have a mustache but I do have a ring with a fake ironic mustache attached to it. Once again, thanks to Gen.

The next couple are on point, I especially love Project Runway.

I'm not sure about the Defining Characteristics one, I don't think any of them are especially me.

It's Time For Another Round Of...

2010-02-09T19:38:00.003-06:00

I Don't Think That Means What You Think That Means!

Today's entry: Professional.

Physics

2010-01-24T15:26:00.002-06:00

I finally went back and got caught up on The Big Bang Theory and I came upon a scene to which I could TOTALLY relate. This is EXACTLY how I felt learning physics, right down to the crying in frustration. How I got a B in this class, I will never know.

(sorry about the green bar taking up half the screen, the videos on youtube had embedding turned off)

tbbt 3x10 Sheldon teaches Penny physics @ Yahoo!7 Video

Best Friends

2010-01-22T19:05:00.007-06:00

I realized something that I think is strange while I was at home. I realized that I really have three people in my life that I would consider my best/closest friends, that probably doesn't seem weird right? Like girls are supposed to have their group of friends right? Well the difference is that my three best friends don't really know each other, like at all.

Me & Kristin

Me & Gen

Me & Kailey*

Kristin and Kailey went to high school together but weren't really friends (not that they didn't like each other, they just weren't close) and probably wouldn't have any idea what was going on in each other's lives at this point if it weren't for me. Kristin and Gen have met once and I'm pretty sure Kailey and Gen have never met at all - Kailey confirms this. This is weird right?

*Oddly, finding a picture of Kailey and me was the most difficult of these three and we live together.

Oh, I Guess I Do Feel Better

2010-01-13T12:13:00.001-06:00

It turns out I was a much better blogger in 2008 than I was in 2009 (111 posts vs. 76). I think this is because of a variety of things. I seemed to be doing well until the most recent semester which makes sense, I had a lot more school work to do so I was having less fun and therefore had less to blog about. Then there was that unfortunate incident at the end of October, that kinda put a damper on things but I will tell you that I was actually blogging then I just never pushed publish and I think you should probably be happy about that. Trust me, I just read them all again and despite (what I like to think of as) some, actually, pretty excellent writing* the content is depressing. At the time it didn't feel all that cathartic to write it down but it probably helped. In fact it may not have helped then but it helps now, it is nice to see the difference between then and now. I don't feel better today than I did yesterday but I feel a lot better than the person that wrote those entries in November and that is really really good to see. You'll just have to take my word on it since you aren't going to see the old posts but maybe keeping a journal isn't such a stupid idea.

*One was damn near poetry and I don't do poetry. I tell ya it was a thing of beauty with its meter and alliteration.

This is Why I Love Her

2010-01-12T10:44:00.000-06:00

The night before I left to go home for Christmas was also my first night of freedom from finals so to celebrate Kailey and I went out for sushi and then hit Hey Cupcake for dessert. Hey Cupcake indeed! They were delicious!

So Kailey's cupcake was chocolate cake with a cream cheese frosting and was named (by the company and many years ago apparently) the Michael Jackson. My theory being that it is black on the inside and white on the outside. When we got home we realized that mine was the opposite (white cake with chocolate buttercream frosting) but had no interesting name.

Me: We have to name mine! Who is white on the inside and black on the outside?
*Kailey gets a big grin*
Me: Who?
Kailey: I don't want to say, it is mean.
Me: Oh My God, tell me! Who?!?!?!
Kailey: Barack Obama?

We Are SUPER Exciting

2009-12-23T18:18:00.002-06:00

So with Kailey moving back to Austin and in with me it allows us to spend a lot of time together again. And Kailey and I like to spend our time together doing awesome things like watching TV and watching movies and, um, well that is really it but we have fun!

Want to know how awesome we are? Well we spent one Friday night watching a silent Zorro movie and we followed that up with watching the AKC Dog Show the following night. Yeah. We live large.

When we began running out of shows to watch I asked Kailey is she had seen Leverage, since we both really enjoyed White Collar and Burn Notice I thought it might be something she would enjoy, and I hadn't seen the shows since they originally aired I thought I would like watching them again. We ended up watching all the aired episodes (seasons one and the first half of season two) in two nights. Two days later, I came home from school to find her watching season one again, she claimed to want to catch all the little things that you pick up on after seeing a lot of episodes and see if they were present in early episodes (in her defense it did explain why I was craving orange soda, talk about subliminal advertising). About a week later I was on my netflix account to look up something new to watch and what does it say in the corner??? Last Watched: Leverage Season One. Yeah Kailey, CAUGHT AGAIN!! I think she liked it.

Crap

2009-12-23T16:51:00.002-06:00

Now I kinda want a snuggie.

I Miss Southern California

2009-12-11T12:48:00.000-06:00

Mission Accomplished

2009-12-02T12:58:00.003-06:00

I just mailed a birthday card to my aunt (her birthday is on Saturday). Why am I telling you this? (Besides the obvious, its my blog and I get to do what I want)

1. This is an amazing event because as many of you have probably noticed, I don't send birthday cards. I try, I have everyone's birthday in my calendar set with a reminder for two weeks ahead of time so that I can get a card and mail it but it never happens.

2. I bought this card five years ago.

See I lived with my aunt and uncle for a short time and during that time (because of the type of people they are and because of the type of person I am) we accumulated a number of inside jokes - all of which are at the expense of one or more of the three of us. Then living in Santa Barbara five years ago I was at Gelson's and I found the PERFECT birthday card for my aunt so I bought it even though it was months until her birthday. I put it in a place where I would TOTALLY know where it was when I needed it and then I forgot where that place was. I found it a few months after her birthday and was all, "no problem, now I'll totally know where it is for her birthday this year." Nope, gone again. I think you can probably figure out the pattern of the last few years. BUT, today I sent it, I'm very excited.

I would also like to point out that despite misplacing it multiple times, I never lost it and I think we need to remember that I have moved four times (including inter-state!!) in those five years, and also that I have only unpacked one box in my bedroom since my most recent move and it happened to be the box with the card in it. I actually purposefully didn't want to unpack any other boxes when I found it because it has since been the only thing sitting on my bookcase for a month and I didn't want to unpack more and risk forgetting it again.

Yeah it is So You Think You Can Dance Again

2009-11-14T16:38:00.002-06:00

If I was still dancing with any level of competency I think I would only want to do Mandy Moore* routines.

From this week:

From a couple seasons ago (and I think I've shared this before but I can't get enough):

Maybe 80's tunes just make me want to dance.

*This is not Mandy Moore the singer / wannabe but isn't really dancer, totally different Mandy Moore.

2009-11-12T20:23:00.005-06:00

In case you are wondering where I've been the last couple of weeks well quite frankly I've been wallowing and eating mashed potatoes for more meals than I choose to admit to* BUT I've also been studying. You see tomorrow I have a Genetics test and I have to know a lot for it. Not just basically know it and be able to answer questions where if you have the basic gist of the answer you get credit, NO. I have to KNOW everything, word for word.

Everything on these flash cards (pencil for scale) has to be in my brain.

Along with eight pages of diagrams that look like this:

I also have to be able to answer any question that has been assigned for homework (a LOT) and do some other things that don't really fit on flash cards like centromere and three point mapping.

I wanna go home now.

*Don't misunderstand me, these things are also going on, I just have to study in between bites.

2009-10-27T20:10:00.002-05:00

I have found the new worst word in the English language: Heartbroken. It is a ridiculous, trite, and cliche word used to describe something that is anything but. It makes me feel like some silly girl out of a Jane Austen novel who just got home from the ball "heartbroken" because the gentleman wouldn't dance with me. I'm banishing it. Come up with something better.

beepbeep beepbeep beepbeep beepbeep

2009-10-13T21:58:00.004-05:00

So I start packing up my kitchen and I throw all the magnets on my fridge (which is kind of a lot) into a ziplock bag and pack them in my mixing bowls near the bottom of one of my largest packing boxes. This box ends up being filled with odds and ends. The kind of packing you do after midnight the day before movers arrive at your house, the kind that involves just taking large armfulls of random things and putting them in boxes? That is what this box consisted of.

One of the magnets I have is a kitchen timer. This kitchen timer beeps when it goes off and it keeps beeping until you press the button to make it shut up. On more than one occasion I have wondered how long this timer will beep if I don't press the button. Usually I can't make it more than about a minute before I absolutely have to make it stop so I really had no idea. Notice I said "HAD no idea." Now I know that it will beep for 30 minutes if you don't press the button. I learned this between 2:30am and 3am on Friday night while it beeped at me as I finished packing. I wasn't all that annoyed with it during the time because I had music going that pretty much drowned it out but around 3am when I decided to be finished and go to bed, THEN it was annoying me. See, I knew that despite the fact that it was in the bottom of a box full of other things downstairs and that I would be trying to sleep upstairs that I would be able to hear it and with my brain still wired from the half a coke I had at 4pm I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep.

I sat on the couch for probably 2-4 minutes just staring at the box and willing it to stop but it wouldn't. I finally decided that I was going to have to unpack the box and find the stupid thing. Once the decision was made I jumped up, grabbed the scissors, turned around, and stopped dead in my tracks. The beeping had stopped. I honestly didn't know what to do. If I moved would it start again? What if I put down the scissors? Had it just reset? Was the beeping going to start again? The silence was too much for my wired, yet exhausted, brain to handle at 3am. I carefully put down the scissors and went to bed.

It started beeping again the next day at the new house when Michael was over and we were sort of unpacking things. Again it stopped as soon as I decided that I was going to find it and shut it off. Apparently it isn't 30 minutes, it is just however long I am willing to put up with it.

How was your week last week?

2009-10-12T23:33:00.002-05:00

Mine went something like this:

Sunday: I could see doom on the horizon. I knew this week was going to be the confluence of everything and that I wasn't going to like it. I knew I had two midterms on Friday, a "quiz from hell" (direct quote from teacher) on Wednesday, a paper due on Thursday, homework assignments due Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday, and a little something called needing to be out of my apartment by Saturday and not getting the keys to the new place until Friday afternoon. Umm lets see, oh yes, and you know that feeling you have when you just know you are going to wake up sick the next day? I'd had that for over a week.

Monday: Physics teacher announces that we will be retaking the first test because everyone did so poorly. And this will be happening on Friday. Awesome, thanks.

Tuesday: The guy from work who promised to bring the boxes he used to move, didn't bring in the boxes he used to move. Now, I have no boxes. Awesome, thanks.

Wednesday: Wake up sick. Awesome, thanks.

Thursday: Fairly normal despite being exhausted, high on dayquil and not really prepared for all the tests I have on Friday.

Friday: Apparently actually studying doesn't really influence my understanding of Physics, good to know. English midterm goes fine. Statistics midterm, well lets just say that this was the one test of the week I was really confident about and then I realized I forgot my calculator.

Then there was moving. So it turns out the guy DID bring boxes, he just put them in the storage unit so they wouldn't clutter the office. The locked storage unit that I don't have a key to, in a storage facility a mile away, behind a gate that I don't have the code to open. Yeah, strange that I didn't think to look there. Also, the LOADS of boxes he was bringing turned out to be 3 normal sized moving boxes and 6 liquor case boxes. So there I am, 5:00pm on Friday with basically no boxes and movers coming at 9:00 the next morning. I think I'll put the move in another post later, there were some interesting moments, or at least moments that made me want to kill people but that others might find amusing.

PS - Uhaul is by far the cheapest place to buy boxes if you have to go that route.

Currently Keeping me Going

2009-10-09T21:35:00.001-05:00

Colors are Hard

2009-09-28T22:10:00.003-05:00

Do you ever say a word a bunch of times until it looses all meaning? This happened to me this weekend. I believe it was driving home from my genetics test on Friday night, I don't remember what the word was (I think it started with a P and had a K - or a hard C - somewhere in the middle) but it was something Michael and I were saying back and forth until I decided to just repeat it a bunch of times and it lost all meaning. It was like super funny to me but I'm pretty sure Michael was laughing AT me and not WITH me.

There is a point to that rambling paragraph. Sort of.

Today in my discussion section for Genetics (sensing a pattern???) we were doing this worksheet and it had a lot of color phenotypes on it so I'm staring at this thing that says
P - Yellow x Yellow
F1 - All Green
F2 - 9:3 Green:Yellow

After staring at the problem for a few minutes and discussing with the group all I can think is "that can't possibly be how you spell green. how do you spell it then? grene? no that is way more wrong, I guess it has to be green. weird." And just as I've hit the point where I'm pretty sure I'm crazy the guy behind me asks his group, "Is that really how you spell yellow??? It just looks wrong."

Thank God for people willing to say things out loud. I would not have been able to concentrate with this issue had he not spoken up, I mean seriously??? Of COURSE that is how you spell yellow! Wow, people these days.

Genetics Makes me Silly

2009-09-11T12:42:00.005-05:00

So I'm reading cake wrecks (as should all of you) and it is all about patriotic/9-11 cakes and it included this jem:

Apparently it is supposed to be fireworks, I think, actually I don't really know. BUT I am a huge dork, I have to draw a lot of diagrams in my genetics class (very basic diagrams mind you) and all I could think when I saw this cake was: What do chromosomes have to do with 9/11?

Turtle Puppy

2009-09-04T13:25:00.002-05:00

You've probably seen this by now but just in case....

You can't possibly say you're having a bad day after watching this. I swear it cured my aching legs.

Where's My Skillz At?

2009-09-02T21:29:00.002-05:00

When I worked at Yardi, I knew everyone. You could give me a name and I could tell you their title, their department, and what office they were in. I could tell you if they were related to anyone else in the company, I could tell you any previous names they went by, or their nick name, or their actual name if they went by a different name. There were probably 800 people in the company when I left. If they were in my office (about 250-300 people) I knew them by sight as well.

Since the semester started I have run into two people from previous classes (summer semester and both fall and spring of last year), both of them knew my name immediately, I have no idea what their names are. For one of them it wasn't until after we had ceased talking that I even remembered what class I had with them.

So that skill is gone apparently.

Overheard on the Bus

2009-09-02T12:53:00.002-05:00

Most people are pretty quiet on the bus, some are not. Three different times (from three different women) I have heard some slight variation of the below cell phone conversation:

woman: Is so-and-so there?
...
woman: I tried his cell phone and he ain't answerin.
...
woman: Well you tell him that I need my money and he better get it to me now.
...
woman: Whatever, you just tell him I called.
...
*hangs up*
woman: Bitch.

First, you have to imagine that this conversation happens at a volume that the entire bus can hear. Second, I mean "answerin" and not "answering." Third, the "bitch" at the end is non-negotiable, it was the finale to all three conversations.

Two out of three times the woman immediately called someone else (a friend perhaps) and related the whole story to them about how "he ain't gettin [her] the money." I have to imagine that these friends hear this story a lot.

5lb Gummi Bear

2009-09-01T22:08:00.003-05:00

nooo not a 5lb BAG of gummi bears (which I have purchased in my lifetime, shut up) but one gummi bear that weighs 5lbs. I can't deny how much I kinda want.

In the end I think I'd rather just have these. You can't beat Haribo.

Ok, back to memorizing Genetics for my quiz tomorrow. "But didn't class just start last week??" you say??? Why yes, but apparently we will be quizzed or tested every week. Oh and also if you score below a B you must have a personal counseling session with the teacher to discuss why. "But aren't you an adult??" you may ask. "I guess not," I will respond.

Where is My Personal Transporter???

2009-08-31T14:54:00.000-05:00

I am one of the first to admit that I have serious transportation issues. I positively hate driving, tell me I need to drive somewhere new and I'm going to map it three or four times trying to devise a route that doesn't require a lot of left turns, one way streets, circling for parking, driving downtown in general, or using I-35. I also get serisouly anxious and generally do anything possible to avoid driving at all costs which leads us to the bus...

I take the bus to school to avoid the driving downtown and looking for parking (and paying exorbitant amounts to park anyway). Before riding the bus I checked schedules like 8-10 times determining the best route to take and the best times to leave, etc. And in true bus riding fashion, just as I was getting used to taking the bus to school I was violated by a creepy old man. I'm never leaving the house again.

Oddly, the only form of transpotation that doesn't really cause me any anxiety is flying and I think I figured out why. Flying is so controlled, yes things can go wrong but mostly they don't and really the only wrong decision or mistake you can make when flying is getting there too late. You stand in this line, you are assigned a number, you go stand in that line, you go sit in front of a numbered door until they call your number, then you get on the plane, then you get off the plane and you are in the right place. You can't get on the wrong plane, you can't get off at the wrong place, there is a button to push when the guy next to you is behaving inappropriately. Airports are covered in signs and arrows every ten feet so getting lost is a near impossibility. I love it.

Ah School

2009-08-30T15:38:00.002-05:00

Have you ever seen Pollyanna (Hayley Mills movie from like 1960)? Do you remember the priest? How he would stand in church and yell at everyone and proclaim doom and gloom? no? see below..

Ok now imagine he is yelling about studying and science and the end of the world and you have just met my Genetics teacher.

I couldn't figure out why he seemed so familiar at first but then in class number two he told us all about how he was originally a theology student and wanted to be a Lutheran Minister. I almost started laughing because I immediately thought of Pollyanna. Luckily I held it together because he probably would have yelled at me personally I'm not looking forward to that moment.

Always Learning

2009-08-28T12:31:00.002-05:00

Today I learned something new. I'm in school so you might think that I SHOULD be learning every day, and here is proof!

Today, I learned that the bus I usually take home from school doesn't always go all the way to my house. Somtimes it turns around about two stops before my house.

It was a fun lesson.

No We're Totally Dating

2009-08-10T12:08:00.003-05:00

Seeeeeee. PROOF!

Why do I look like some creepy kid trying to get in the picture? Yes, yes, we can all see he can do better but let's not mention it to him.

I can't even begin to come up with an appropriate title

2009-08-03T12:00:00.003-05:00

On the way home from Ikea over the weekend I saw a billboard for an attorney that baffled me. We were on the freeway so I didn't have time to take a picture (and Michael has a strict no turning around policy) but maybe you can appreciate it anyway.

MOLESTED?
Have you or one of your children been molested? Maybe we can help.

What? Now I understand the "Injured at Work?" ones because there is a lot of money to be made by gaming the worker's comp system and even the "Slip and Fall?" ones because suing a big company has the possibility of bringing in the dough but "Molested?"

Is the lawyer just hoping that maybe someone molested by a famous person will happen to see his billboard and call? I guess (barring that scenario) I just didn't think there was that much money to be made in molestations.

More Weddings

2009-07-28T18:11:00.003-05:00

This weekend was Michael's dad's wedding. Michael was the best man or as his dad put it, "the guy who stands up there and holds the ring."

This is another version of Michael's "why do you take pictures of me from 2 feet away" face (4th try I got him to smile), but doesn't he look handsome in his suit? :o)

Side Note: Why do church ladies (and random wedding guests) insist on reassuring me that "it'll be [me] soon"?? I guess I'm just at the age where older women think it is odd that I'm not wedding crazy.

Its Like They're Not Even Trying Anymore

2009-07-27T12:46:00.004-05:00

I'm reading a consumerist article this morning about an email scam going out that is from Amazonfraudcenter.com and it talks all about how real the email looks and warns people to be careful, etc. etc. etc.

I open my yahoo mail account and my first email has the subject line, "loan" and the body is the following:

Interested applicant should Apply today with these details for 1% interst rate loan:Name,Age,
Occupation,address,Loan Amount,Duration.Tel,Via email[redacted for your safety] William.B

Do they think I'm so stupid that they don't even have to try to scam me? Have a little respect scammers, have a little respect.

I Do Not Have OCD

2009-07-23T17:05:00.003-05:00

So I almost bought Twilight the other day but then I thought it might be fun to end the pay period with a positive amount of money so I held off. As I'm telling this to Michael I realize something; if the movies are named like the books and I buy the movies, how amd I going to organize them into me collection????

The books all have completely differnt titles: Twilight, New Moon, ummm Eclipse maybe? and the last one umm Dawn something. I organize my DVD's alphabetically, those will be all over the place. What am I to do? See with Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter all the titles begin the same so I don't feel bad if they are slightly out of alpha order in order to be in chronological order but these don't all start the same! I paused here at which point Michael asked if there was some sort of pill I could take.

I miss Kailey, she understood. We could discuss things like where to put the box set of Toy Story, Toy Story II, and A Bug's Life* and when we separated out box sets into a separate shelf, wait are we moving box sets or TV Shows? What constitutes a box set? Just larger boxes, what about a TV show that is in a normal DVD case?** Shouldn't Les Miserables go under 'M' since "les" means "the" in French?***

This wasn't an issue with the books because the books weren't around long enough for this to come up.

I do not have OCD. These things are important.

*It eventually went under 'D' because technically it was called the Disney DVD Box Set.
**We decided that TV and Movies would be separated (there wasn't enough space on one bookshelf)
***Yes, it was moved to the M's

Jealousy

2009-07-22T19:53:00.002-05:00

Don't you wish you had a puppy to take with you to work?

2009-07-20T08:08:00.003-05:00

Now, I know that Target doesn't carry a big selection of books and maybe because of that the people who work there don't get the opportunity to read a lot of books so I really have no idea whose fault it is that the web designer (and bis boss presumably) thinks that a book is electronic.

"ummm, we sell them on the internet and that is electronic so books must be electronic. Yeah! that's it, put them under electronics!"

I'm A Little Embarrassed

2009-07-19T16:39:00.002-05:00

but, ok, here goes: I actually kind of totally enjoyed the Twilight movie. Don't get me wrong the movie is completely trashy but I found it to be an enjoyable trashy.

Maybe it was because my expectations were so incredibly low that the movie couldn't help but exceed them but I'm actually looking a little forward to the next movie. Of course that may make me not enjoy the next movie nearly as much.

As I suspected, there just isn't time in a movie to have the same whiny conversation over and over again (major issue with the books) and so the only part that felt whiny to me was the very end when Bella was in the hospital and I was ok with that because it made sense.

On the other hand, the sound effects guy (or whoever made the sound effects final decisions) needs to be fired. I get it, Vampires move fast. The wooshing noise EVERY time they move fast is uneccessary. Also, that tinkling bells noise when he steps into the sun? Annoying.

Pretty In Purple

2009-07-17T09:21:00.006-05:00

Hmm, how very non descript of you.

Ooooo, thats a little better.

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Thank you Mommy & Daddy!!!!

Whoa, I Should Vacuum

2009-07-09T17:17:00.003-05:00

My glasses arrived today and all I can say is I've been missing out on some detail. Also, I like them :o) They are very similar to my old ones except they are pink/red instead of tan/brown.

Next up: Sunglasses! I am determined not to get a headache every time I go outside.

What have YOU been doing?

2009-07-09T13:30:00.004-05:00

I've been busy, maybe, I can't remember. Lets see what has happened recently that you should be updated on.

Michael and I went to Mamma Mia! two weekends ago and it was tons of fun. We were smack dab in the front row center so I could definitely see (even with my 3 year out of date prescription glasses). It was also cool because we could see into the pit and watch the band. They like to make fun of the play while it is going on.

Last week I ordered new glasses - as Brian Regan would say, "how could instantly improved vision not be at the top of your to do list?" Now this would be super exciting for me except that this week I ordered a new computer so that has WAY superceeded my excitement about new glasses. Of course the computer I want is on backorder so I don't know when it will get here *sad face*

Just for fun:

Why is my life so often comparable to a Brian Regan sketch?

For the 4th of July I wanted to make it fun so we decided to have a mini BBQ. I made creamed corn and ate all of it myself because apparently corn based dishes are my favorite thing in the world (or possibly potato - would you believe that I did NOT grow up in the midwest?). I also made Michael another awesome cheeseburger which has now been dubbed the Ultimate Cheeseburger which immediately caused me to begin singing the Meaty Cheesy Boys song which garnered my a weird look. Apparently knowing the songs from mid 90's commercials isn't that awesome.

Yes, I can still sing the whole version from the commercial (there is apparently an extended version that I had never heard). I can also do the California's Truck Stop Dodge commercial song. Yes, sometimes I am proud of those facts.

Where Were You When You Found Out?

2009-06-25T18:39:00.004-05:00

I was cutting open an earthworm, trying not to puncture the intestine and get worm poop all over me.

This is how I choose to remember him, although I'm not sure I was even born at this point. The first cd I ever owned was Michael Jackson's Dangerous and I'd still have it today if I hadn't sold all my cds for extra cash last year.

Why Am I Always So Thirsty?

2009-06-23T20:00:00.004-05:00

During the winter I spend a lot of my time complaining about how cold I am (just ask Michael, he can't take me anywhere) and I like to long for summer because my brain knows that in the summer, it is not cold. Unfortunately while my brain does realize that summer is hot, it doesn't fully remember the details of what that means and so falls back on the most vivid memories of "hot" summers in California and chooses not to remember that it is 20 degrees hotter in Texas.

Dear Summer in Texas, I'd tell you to go to hell but we are apparently too late for that.

Birthday Cupcakes

2009-06-19T21:34:00.005-05:00

Last week was Michael's birthday and armed with any excuse to bake I made cupcakes. Upon asking Michael what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and receiving the ever helpful answer of, "the awesome kind" I decided to go with my personal favorite: chocolate with chocolate frosting.

(that isn't all of them, that is just the only ones that would fit in that particular container)

Upon looking at them you might say to yourself, "hmm some of those cupcakes have pieces of fruit on them, perhaps a raspberry or a pineapple?" and well you'd be correct! In an effort to make them at least partially awesome, I decided to add fruit but not just to the top... nooooo...

What you are looking at is fruit filling inside a cupcake. I KNOW it IS amazing. Per Michael they were also quite delicious. I don't really like fruit invading my chocolate so I was pretty indifferent about my bite, also that is why I made some without the filling (that and I wasn't sure the filling thing was going to work out). There are no pictures of the pineapple filled ones because those pictures were not attractive, the yellow did not look appetizing on camera despite their taste.

And yes, for those with astute eyes, those ARE Transformers cupcake wrappers.

UT Orientation

2009-06-16T09:58:00.002-05:00

I'm officially a Longhorn now, I got a sticker to prove it.

Yesterday was my orientation and mostly it wasn't worth the $42 they charged me (umm and you aren't even going to feed me? Not even a morning juice box?) but it was nice to get - read: be forced - to wander around the campus and get a better feeling for the place.

Mostly I paid $42 to feel really really old. See below overheard conversations.

Speaker: Fine Arts! You are at the back door!
Girl 1: That's us.
Girl 2: No, that is Fine Art.
Girl 1: But we're art.
Girl 2: We're Liberal Arts.
Girl 1: It isn't the same thing?
Me: *Mental forehead smack*

The following must be read in the best Valley Girl impersonation you can do in order for you to fully appreciate it.

Girl 1: ohmygod, I want to be a speech therapist, like and work with kids, like a pediatric speech therapist. I think it is really cute when a little kid has a stutter.
Girl 2: wow, that is really cool.
Girl 1: ohmygod I know. It is going to be like totally rewarding.

Also, I rode the bus to school. I've never ridden the bus in Austin before so I don't know totally how it works but I can tell you one thing that I am absolutely positive about: Clipping your nails on the bus is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. Let me be clear - clipping your nails on an empty bus is unacceptable and clipping your nails on a totally packed bus? TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

Who is this group of people who feel like clipping their nails in public is ok? Seriously, who is their mother? And why are they always right behind me? I should not have to spend my ride to school wondering if your fingernail is going to hit me in the back of the head.

Other places where clipping your nails is unacceptable:
1. In line for a ride at Disneyworld.
2. In the waiting room at the doctor's office.
3. In your cubicle at work.
4. In any other place that isn't your private bathroom with the door closed.